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I just returned from a trip across the country and back with my three kids. The outbound journey was atrocious but I learned enough to make the return infinitely better. Here’s the list I wish I had before I left home.
Top 10 things to bring with you when flying with kids:
1. Milk. Buy it after you go through security. Three of the four flights we took did not have milk on board. Seriously.
2. Sippy cups…in which to drink said milk during takeoff and landing without spilling.
3. Snacks. The food on board, if they even have it, is expensive.
4. More snacks. You may need them to pacify your neighbors when your kids act up.
5. Aquadoodle. Thanks to Commuter Mom for recommending this totally engaging activity.
6. Small toys your kids haven’t seen before. I bought cars that change colors for $1.49 each before we headed home, and they occupied my kids for a good hour.
7. Lovey, squiddy, or teddy, whatever comforts your child. You don’t want to be stuck – like I was – trying to explain to your child that his favorite stuffed animal is “in the belly of the plane,” and why it is therefore impossible to reach.
8. A digital watch (depending on your child’s age). Tell them what numbers to look for and let them watch the time creep by. This may stop them from asking “how much longer?” every 2 minutes.
9. Portable DVD player or computer that can play movies. This was our saving grace for my eldest.
10. Patience. This too shall pass.
California Baby Colds and Flu Aromatherapy Bubble Bath (http://www.californiababy.com/colds-flu-aromatherapy-bubble-bath-13-oz.html) does wonders for helping to soothe a stuffy nose. The scent is described as Douglas fir and eucalyptus, but it’s not offensive and beats the medicinal smell of Vicks VapoRub (not to mention it is all natural and Vicks shouldn't be used on children under 2 years old). It comes with a bubble blower too so bath time while your child is sick can be a little more enjoyable.
I know that mother’s guilt is a universal feeling, but what I’ve come to recognize lately is that what is unique to each of us as mothers is what makes us feel guilty in our parenting and work dynamics. I think I’d have to say that I’m pretty lucky that I don’t feel guilty about any of the really big issues. I don’t feel guilty about working, having my daughter in full time group care, or driving an SUV (sorry GreenMom). But I have come to realize that I often feel guilt about lots of little things. So if you’ll indulge my self analysis, I’ve decided to do an inventory of last week’s small guilt trips.
Last week, I felt guilty for:
• Sending my daughter to child care on Monday and Tuesday with a terrible cough and cold and in a horrid mood, because we really needed the care due to a death in the family;
• The fact that it didn’t occur to me until Wednesday to let her bring her beloved Curious George with her to school for extra comfort;
• Rushing the bed time routine so my husband and I could finally get some adult time alone;
• Rushing her morning routine just so I could get a decent parking spot at work;
• Saying “red light” a lot, but never saying “green light”;
• Not having any shoes that fit my daughter aside from boots…and it’s 80 degrees today.
My daughter would snack all day if we let her. I have no idea how she makes it through the day at child care, because on the weekends she says she is hungry every 10 minutes. By the time a legitimate meal time rolls around she is really only hungry for snack-size portions. It isn’t always junk food, but it goes on all day. I usually say no, but maybe she really is hungry; and to be quite honest, I get tired of saying no.
I’m trying to get her to eat more at mealtime in the hopes that it will help us to cut down on the request for snacks. This has proven to be more of a challenge than I thought it would/should be. My husband and I have resorted to every trick we can think of:
• The contest - “You better eat that before I get it!”
• The negotiation - “Eat three more bites of your chicken and then you can have any fruit you want.”
• The race - “I bet I can finish my bite of food before you can.”
• The location change – “Let’s have a picnic in the living room.”
But, what has worked best, so far? Straws and toothpicks. We can get her to drink 2 full glasses of juice, milk, or water as long as she has a straw (she gets to choose which color). And, give the girl a “toothstick” (toothpick) and she’ll eat 2 entire fish sticks plus her carrots and strawberries without much encouragement at all. Apparently, toothpicks were first used in Brazil. But I would like to thank Charles Forster, who in the 1870s began manufacturing toothpicks in the US and revolutionized dinner time at my house.
Today is Earth Day. In celebration, here are some links with interesting ideas, activities or giveaways.
Reynolds Recycled
Visit this site today to find out how to get a free roll of Reynolds Wrap Foil made from 100% recycled materials.
Earth Day Reads
Books for various ages on the environment.
Activites and Resources for Children
Various craft, food, and activity ideas.
Milk Carton Crafts
Discover what can be done with milk cartons other than recycling them.
Like most moms, I believe I have an incredible daughter but have found juggling motherhood and working full-time to be very challenging. With my chatty 2 year old and a career I love, it’s hard to find a balance.
I had another difficult drop-off today with my daughter. Some days drop-off just seems to be so difficult for her. While talking to a co-worker, I told her how I felt like I was a bad parent for not having cleaner breaks in the morning. After all, it seems like all the other parents just do a quick drop-off and leave. She said to me “These are fleeting moments. Soon your daughter will be asking you to drop her off 3 blocks away from school so her friends don’t see you. Enjoy her clinginess as it won’t last long.” I’m trying to remind myself of that every day now.
My family spent Sunday afternoon at IKEA. My husband wanted to enjoy some of their famous Swedish meatballs so we spent some time in their restaurant (which is really more like a cafeteria). While there, I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of disposable items. We ate off of real plates, used real silverware and drank from real cups. There were no little cups for ketchup or salad dressing; you were expected to bring your items up to the food bar for condiments. There were paper napkins and disposable straws, but because of all the reusable items, we didn’t feel as guilty about using them. Throughout the store, there were recycle bins for paper next to each of the trash cans. We even picked up some great recycling bins for our house.
I think whoever created their carts should invent strollers for kids. The beauty of the IKEA cart is that not only does it go forward like a regular shopping cart, but it goes side to side. Wouldn’t it be nice to do the same at the mall or to make room for someone on the sidewalk? I think I might be on to something.
Ballet lessons have been going really well! So well, that we have agreed to sign up our daughter for the recital. I have no expectations that she will actually go through with dancing on a stage, in front of a crowd, with her teacher, but I’ll be in the front row with my video camera just in case.
That was last week. This week, well, let’s just say ballet wasn’t. There was a substitute teacher. Before class, my daughter was excited and prancing around on her tiptoes in front of the mirror. Then she turned into a puddle when she realized Miss Tracy was not going to be leading the class. It was like we were at the first lesson all over again! I didn’t want to revert to the days of doing ballet with her, so I gave her a choice.
Me: I’m going to count to 3 and you have to make a choice. We can either stay here and you can participate while Mommy watches. Or, we can take off your ballerina clothes and go home to rest…not to play, but to rest. One. Two. Three.
Her: (Through a trembling lip and tears) I want to go home.
So we left. I made my apologies to the teacher, picked up my daughter’s ballet shoes and left. I’m still questioning my decision to let her back out, but I do feel a little bit better that she wasn’t the only one who left. By the time we changed and went to the car, there was only one child in the class…the one who spent the first 3 lessons lying on the floor in the doorway because he didn’t want to dance.
I really hope Miss Tracy is back next week.
When it comes to children’s development there is advice of all sorts from all schools, and every new mom has to figure out for herself which pearls of wisdom work best for her. Some people say to ignore everyone’s advice and go only with your gut while others subscribe strictly to one school of thought or another. As for myself, I determined that what worked best for me was to listen to everyone’s advice and then cherry pick those pieces that seemed to feel right for me and my child. But now I’m stumped, because on the topic of toddler discipline there seems to be a universal truth – set rules and consequences for bad behavior and follow through on them. Fair enough – my daughter throws toys in the house, she gets a warning; she throws toys again, and I take them away. She can howl all she wants, but she’s not getting those toys back. But I just can’t seem to take the next leap for dealing with bad behaviors in public. The conventional wisdom seems to be that you should have those same rules whether you’re at home or in a public place, and if you’re in the grocery store, for example, and your daughter ignores your warnings about using her “indoor voice,” that you should up and leave. Just abandon your cart full of groceries and head home. I have to admit, I just can’t do it. Time is too precious in our two-working-parents household to give up the 45 minutes I just spent filling my grocery cart in order to instill unwavering discipline in my child. This weekend I admittedly bribed my 2-year-old with a chocolate treat from the bakery section rather than abandon the flowers and cake I had selected to bring to my sister-in-law’s house for Easter. And in retrospect I don’t regret my choice to be a thoughtful guest rather than tell my gracious hostess that I couldn’t bring the dessert I promised because I had to teach my daughter a lesson about using her listening ears. Am I wrong, or is it possible to raise a well-behaved child without supplanting all your other obligations?
The other day I brought my two oldest kids to their friends’ house for a play date with some friends from school. After bringing them inside and getting a quick tour of the house, the friends’ father and I engaged in a few minutes of small talk. I mentioned that his youngest daughter looks just like her mother. He agreed, and pointed out that the oldest is a replica of him. “Our middle child,” he said with a chuckle, “doesn’t look like either of us. We adopted him.” Well I happen to know that their middle child is not in fact adopted. So I did not see any humor in his “joke,” particularly because my children all are adopted. What’s more, they were standing beside me and quite likely heard his attempt at humor, though I’m sure they didn’t recognize it as such. They probably thought the child in question was adopted, and the next time they see him they may well be excited to talk to him about their special bond as adopted children. I came so close to calling him on it…to saying, “Really? I had no idea. That’s so great. My kids are adopted too.” I wonder what he would have said. I only wish I had actually said it so I could have found out.
The next day my son and I were at a child-parent event at our synagogue. Several parents didn’t show, leaving their kids to fend for themselves at the interactive activity. The woman leading the program asked all of the kids whose parents weren’t there to raise their hands and requested that the parents in attendance each “adopt” one of the children whose hand was raised. My son looked at me quizzically and I explained to him what she meant. I think he was concerned that we might actually bring another kid home to live with us.
I’m not one of those people who gets upset about the Humane Society’s adopt-a-pet drives, and it’s never touched a nerve when I’ve heard about companies adopting a portion of a highway, but the lighthearted use of the term “adopt” is always a sharp reminder to me that people whose lives haven’t been changed by the miracle of adoption frequently just don’t get it.
I’ve been debating whether or not I want to buy reusable sandwich bags. After seeing this though, I think I want to try making my own. Now if only I knew how to use a sewing machine…
Dear Bright Horizons Teachers,
Thank you for taking care of my daughter each day. Thank you for helping me to raise a smart, creative and kind individual. Thank you for showing her how to use scissors. Thank you for helping her learn how to write her name. Thank you for hugging her when she gets a boo boo and I’m not there. Thank you for celebrating with her when she poops on the potty. Thank you for laughing with her when she tells a “joke.” Thank you for putting her hair in a bun when I’m out of town; she loves her hair in a bun and, according to my daughter, Daddy is not a good bun-maker. Thank you for creating a classroom that opens up the world of science and art and literature and so much more. Thank you for asking questions that make her think.
Thank you for teaching me how to be a better mother.
Thank you for being a teacher.
With admiration,
Commuter Mom
If any Bright Horizons families would like to show their appreciation for the staff at their center, please feel free to visit http://www.brighthorizons.com/employeeappreciation.
I can’t be the only who’s faced this, so I’m looking for some advice. Our daughter has been testing the limits of bedtime on and off for the last few months. One more book, one more song, refusing to brush her teeth when she should and then announcing she needs to just as we’re about to turn out the lights. We’ve tried very diligently to nip all of this in the bud and set firm limits and expectations at bedtime, and we’ve been pretty successful. At the same time, she’s close (I think) to really potty training. She’s been using the potty occasionally, when asked, for several months, but has only recently been telling us or her teachers when she needs to go – not every time, but sometimes. I ask her every night before she gets her pajamas on if she needs to use the potty, and sometimes she does. But what do we do when, after telling us she does not need to use the potty, 10 minutes later, conveniently close to lights out, she announces she has to go? I feel it’s wrong to tell her she missed her opportunity to go to the potty, and I always take her. My husband leans more toward the “cut the excuses” side of things. Half the time she produces, and half the time she doesn’t. Then last night, 15 minutes after we had put her to bed, after a marathon of efforts on her part to extend bedtime, she announced from her crib (a first) that she needed to use the potty. My husband did take her, and she did pee a very little bit, and she did finally go to bed sweetly – nearly 30 minutes after her normal bedtime. What’s the right thing to do? Does potty training supersede bedtime discipline, or are we being taken for a ride?
Do you ever find yourself at a restaurant for a spontaneous lunch out without a sippy cup? Even though most places offer plastic children's cups with straws, they don't normally bend making them difficult for toddlers to reach. Try keeping a stash of bendy straws in your diaper bag. We love to keep them in a toothbrush holder.
Part 1- Autism and Vaccines
Part 2- Breastfeeding
Part 3- BPA Free Bottles
The third is about the company that markets BornFree bottles. I do believe all the hype about BPA. I’ve heard enough about the FDA studies being backed by the plastics industry to be weary of what information is actually accurate. It has been my choice to remove BPA and PVC plastics from my home because I’ve adopted the “what if it’s true, it can’t hurt,” attitude. I did use BornFree bottles for my first child (because at the time, it was the only BPA free choice other than glass) and may use the two unopened boxes I have for my second. However, I can’t help but feel a bit scammed by this company.
Based on this article that ran in Forbes last year, BornFree was born out of the desire to make money. I know that that is how the world works, but I would like to think that some companies actually start because someone cared about his child or someone else’s and not just about their bank account. I can almost see these guys sitting around a table smoking cigars and giving each other high fives for creating this brilliant plan to get mothers like me scared enough into buying their product. Like the autism/vaccine story, the BPA story took on a mind of its own. Now every major baby bottle company is making bottles, sippy cups, plates etc. that are BPA free. The choices seem to be limitless, but BornFree is still a big player. Moving forward, I will think twice about the companies I choose to support through my purchases. I will also know to do my own research and try and find both sides to each story before formulating an opinion or making an important decision related to my child’s health.
Part 1- Autism and Vaccines
Part 2- Breastfeeding
The second article is regarding breastfeeding. Even though it is not a popular choice in the “green community,” I must admit that I did not nurse my first child, nor do I plan to nurse my second (sorry if that is TMI). This is a personal choice that I feel is best for my family. I have the utmost respect for women that nurse, and an unspoken kinship with those that don’t. I can relate to the description the writer of this article makes of other mothers on the playground, feeling like people are judging you poorly because of the choice you’ve made as a mother. I felt it was important to highlight this article, because during my pregnancy, knowing I was not going to breastfeed, I was hungry (pun intended) for books or articles about people like me. Every magazine or parenting book drilled the message “breast is best” into my head to the point where I felt so guilty about formula feeding my child I didn’t join new mom’s groups or head out to the playground with my newborn. I congregated towards my friends that I knew would love me no matter what choice I made. This article talks about main stream media (the popular parenting magazines and books) vs. actual medical fact and provides a side to the breast feeding/formula feeding “mommy war” that I had not heard before.
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