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My husband and I went out to dinner a few weeks ago with some friends. We were talking about what our weekend plans were and my husband’s response was, “I’m babysitting.” It was like nails on a chalkboard. Since when is spending the day with your own daughter while your wife is at a wedding shower considered babysitting? Does he expect to get paid? I would never say I was babysitting on the nights he goes out for BBQ with his friends. So, why didn’t he hesitate, and why didn’t anyone at the table question him on it?
I thought maybe it was just a “guy thing” but when I was on a business trip last week a colleague, who happens to be a woman, asked me if my mother was watching my daughter while I was away. This woman knows that I am married, she knows that my husband is at home. Why wouldn’t she assume that my daughter’s father is with her? I doubt anyone will ask my husband on his next business trip if Nana is watching his daughter…they’ll just assume it’s Mommy’s job.
I got sick this week — a stomach bug. I woke up at 4:00 a.m. with that tell tale queasy feeling and knew my family was in for a long day. I immediately went into the guest room to “sleep” but really what I was doing was planning. The following day was not a day that I work. My husband had can’t-miss meetings with out of town bosses. You know the kind; all-day meetings, team building dinners, meetings that are planned months in advance. Since I was supposed to be home with my son, we had no child care scheduled for that day; my husband couldn’t stay home, and our closest family member lives two hours away. Cue drop-in care at our child care center.
I am lucky enough to use a center that offers emergency drop-in care. I frantically called them as soon as they opened and explained our situation. Even though the person that does the scheduling was just walking in the door, she took a minute to review the classroom rosters and was able to accommodate my son, with longer hours than he’s normally at the center so my husband could still do drop off and pick up. I felt badly about inconveniencing the teachers and worried all day that I would get the dreaded phone call that he too was sick, but he ended up having his best day ever at child care — full of dancing, painting, and playing in the kitchen. It really does take a village to raise a child and my family was very lucky that our child care center was willing to be ours that day.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but as I searched for loose change in my purse earlier today, I thought perhaps I should have resolved to quite literally lighten my load by removing some food items from the bag I carry with me everywhere.
Today’s inventory reveals the following edible items from my purse:
- 1 container of 7 wheat-free, dairy-free Fig Newmans
- 1 container of one partially eaten wheat-free, dairy-free Fig Newman
- 1 container of 6 Ritz crackers
- 1 box of raisins
- 1 bowl of oyster crackers
- 1 pomegranate Tootsie Pop
- 1 caramel nut blast Balance Bar of questionable vintage
- 1 Ziploc baggie of graham cracker crumbs
- 6 cough drops
- 3 ½ loose pretzels
- Various crumbs of all sorts
- And truth be told, it would also include one no-sugar-added individual cup of Motts applesauce if it hadn’t punctured and leaked all over everything last week.
Leave a comment and tell us what delectables are in your purse/bag right now.
I’m not sure why, but I always assumed that as my kids got older, their eating horizons would expand. I thought they’d become a little more adventurous with their food choices, develop more sophisticated palates, and at the very least, tolerate a vegetable every now and then. Instead, it seems like just the opposite is happening. With each passing year, they are becoming pickier and pickier. Case in point: My 6-year-old went from enjoying all pasta to refusing to eat anything other than macaroni and cheese to drawing the line at macaroni and cheese “with white cheese.” My 3-year-old would subsist on a diet of bread and clementines if only I would allow it. My 1-year-old, on the other hand, will eat absolutely anything but I can only assume he’ll follow in the footsteps of his siblings and whittle his food choices down considerably over the next couple of years. What do I do? Everyone tells me to cook a balanced meal and tell them they can eat what I’ve prepared or go to bed hungry. They remind me that I’m not a short-order cook and that my “kitchen should be closed” once we sit down at the table. The only problem is that my kids would be perfectly happy to go to bed without supper if the alternative is eating – heaven forbid – a fish stick or a piece of lasagna. I do insist that they try what I’ve prepared, though that has yet to result in them deciding they actually like it. It seems like a fruitless endeavor (unless of course it includes fruit, which is the one food group they unanimously support). Some people have recommended Jessica Seinfeld’s bestselling cookbook that contains recipes for hiding vegetables in kid-friendly foods but what I really need are some ideas for hiding a nutritious balanced meal in macaroni and (white) cheese, bread, and clementines.
I am always looking for non-plastic, non-toxic toys for my son so when I discovered Melissa and Doug toys I was pretty happy. I didn’t have to go to a boutique or shop exclusively online, I could find the toys in mainstream stores. I figured it was a brand that I didn’t have to research every time we received a gift or treated him to a new puzzle because according to their safety statement and other information I’d read, I figured their brand was totally safe. For the most part that is true, but lead is not the only chemical we have to worry about. Some Melissa and Doug toys have been recalled (in Canada only) for containing barium which causes gastro-intestinal distress when ingested. They also have some toys that contain lead and PVC; things you wouldn’t think of like stuffed animals. A great resource that I’ve discovered for finding out which toys are risky and which toys aren’t is HealthyToys.org. Here, you can search toys by brand or by type and you can even e-mail them to test a toy that you have that isn’t on the list. I’ve found that this is the easiest site to search with information that is easy to understand. Hopefully it will take some of the guess work out of toy safety.
On another toy safety note, there is a movement among crafters and people that support them to amend the law that will go into effect in February 2009. This law, that requires that every children’s product be tested by a third party tester, will cause several independent businesses and crafters to close their doors. People who make wooden trucks, cloth diapers, or dolls will be forced to have each one of their products tested which will cost thousands of additional dollars. While we want our children’s products to be safe, the products in question have never contained harmful chemicals. Some people feel these businesses should be exempt. To learn more and to support this cause, please visit the Handmade Toy Alliance.
I thought I’d share our current list of snow day activities…there is only so much playing in the snow you can do before your nose gets too cold. - Clean out the magazines. My daughter likes to help me decide what to keep and what to recycle then put them in the appropriate piles.
- Bake cookies. Chocolate crinkles are the current favorite.
- Paint our toenails…or toes --it really depends on who is doing the painting.
- Make play dough.
- Read a book.
- Go on a virtual trip to a zoo or museum.
- Wash dishes. It amazes me how long my daughter can spend washing a bowl.
- Watch home movies. My daughter loves to see herself on the computer.
- Have a tea party. For some reason that always includes me eating too much pretend cake and getting a stomachache.
- Build a pillow fort.
- Make a construction paper collage. Or, just cut paper with scissors into little tiny pieces.
Enjoy your next snow day.
An Open Letter to my neighbors, my postal carrier, the UPS delivery team, and pizza guy:
I am sorry, oh so sorry that our sidewalk and front walkway remain covered in ice. You see, during the last snowstorm, when the snow melted and refroze, my husband was out of town. I was home with a sick child under the age of 2. We waited too long, and by the time I had the opportunity to sneak out of the house while my daughter was occupied with a TV show, the ice was frozen solid. I couldn’t budge an inch of it. It has snowed again since that time, and my very kind next door neighbor did snow blow the sidewalk, and I shoveled the walkway. We removed many inches of snow, but still couldn’t cut through the ice below. Now the temperatures are in the single digits, and I fear it will be weeks before we can further clear the walks. We have sprinkled sidewalk salt, but to no avail. I know when I was on my maternity leave, in the middle of the winter, I used to curse those of you who shoveled your sidewalks to within a foot of the neighbor’s house and then stopped. You would clear a lovely, but unusable path, when I, stroller in hand, would have to walk in the street anyway because I could not maneuver through the remaining small pile of snow and ice. Now I see you walking your children to school in the streets and delivering the mail, packages, and take-out dinners with a great sense of adventure because you haven’t seen concrete in front of our house for more than a week. I feel your pain. I am truly sorry. Look for me to make amends with some fantastic contributions to the block party this summer. With my sincerest apologies, NewMom.
I’m a news junkie, and I’ve been watching and reading all the coverage of the US Airways crash I can. As a mother, I am overcome with thoughts about how I would handle that situation if I had been on that plane with my daughter. I’ve read all the witness and survivor accounts I can. With the exception of Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts, every single one of the witnesses and survivors I’ve seen interviewed has been male. I know there was a mother and baby on the flight. I’d really like to hear a mother’s view. Please share if you've seen or heard any.
These bento box systems are a good way to pack lunch without having to use plastic bags or containers. The smaller individual containers fit inside a large compartmentalized container and when the lid is closed, it forms a leak free system. An easy way to create a waste free lunch.
My 6-year-old son casually asked me during breakfast the other day where babies come from. Seizing the teachable moment and hoping to buy some time, I asked him where he thought they come from, to which he replied very assuredly, “They come from Jupiter.” Uh oh…I thought, we have quite a bit to discuss. So I told him everything…and I mean everything. Taking special care with the words I chose, since my son is adopted, I told him how grown-up men and women (I must have stressed grown up at least 6 times) create babies. I told him how they grow in a woman’s stomach and how some women can grow babies but don’t know how to take care of them, while other women can’t grow babies but they know how to care for and love a baby and how all that makes families come together. The birds and the bees and adoption in one conversation; not bad. When I was all done, I asked him if he had any questions. “Can I go play with the Wii?” he wanted to know. I think he got way more than he expected.
That night I was at a party, and I shared the conversation with several friends. Everyone said I went overboard. They said I went into too much detail and a much more general response would have sufficed. What do you think? What’s the right age to tell it like it is?
‘Tis the season for making resolutions so here are a few of my green resolutions for the new year. I resolve:
1. To visit more farmer’s markets during the spring and summer. We have several in our area on different days of the week so there is no excuse not to go and support local farmers.
2. To turn off the sink while I’m brushing my teeth. Even though I know it’s a colossal waste of water, I let the water run while brushing my teeth because I hate when toothpaste gets stuck to the sink.
3. To start a compost. My town offers the compost bins at a discounted rate and we have the perfect space behind the garage to put it.
4. To use reusable bags at stores other than grocery stores. I have way too many Target bags at home.
5. To finally recycle/donate the old cell phones we have lying around the house. There is a Cell Phones for Soldiers drop off bin at a store very close to my house.
The scene: a frigid January morning. Our first day back to the center after two days being home with a sick toddler. The TV nearly worn out from overuse.
5:50 a.m.: “Mommy, want Mommy,” the toddler continues to wail, even while lying on top of Mommy.
6:30 a.m.: Toddler is on the couch, eating a popsicle, watching Curious George, to be followed by several episodes of Super Why.
7:15 a.m.: A freshly showered, shaven, and dressed Daddy arrives downstairs. “Hurry,” he says to Mommy. “I need to be in the office by 8:00.” Dumbstruck, having been given 15 minutes notice to shower (which she hasn’t done in two days), make-up, and dress — or leave her daughter unsupervised after Daddy took 45 min+ to get ready himself — Mommy fumes upstairs to the bathroom.
7:30 a.m.: Showered, dressed, and yet still barely awake, Mommy battles to get the toddler, who doesn’t understand why she can’t continue to wear her popsicle-stained pajamas, dressed, hair in ponytails, shoes tied.
7:45 a.m.: Hurray, they’re running early, and Mommy may actually get a parking spot at work. She packs up the toddler’s lunch and grabs coats, hats, and mittens from the closet.
7:55 a.m.: Mommy smells poop. She changes the toddler’s diaper, only to spill its contents out, requiring a change of pants for the toddler. Thank goodness there is a clean pair in the dryer. However, Mommy still can’t shake the stink of poop. She searches and searches to find the culprit, only to realize she has not yet thrown out the dirty diaper. Their head start on the day is rapidly fading.
8:15 a.m.: Finally headed out the door, banana in hand, the toddler warns, “Careful Mommy, it’s slippery.” “Not too slippery,” Mommy responds. “Most of the ice has melted away.” The toddler proceeds to slip on the single patch of ice remaining on the driveway. As Mommy scoops her up, the banana hits the car door and breaks off. Mommy attempts to throw it into the wide open garbage can. Instead, it hits the downspout and ricochets off the garage door. Amazingly, the toddler is satisfied to be able to keep the remaining half of the banana. They pile into the car, the toddler takes one bite of the banana and pronounces, “Don’t like it Mommy.”
The day has just begun.
END SCENE
I will never forget the thrill of a snow day. It was so much better than a planned vacation day, providing both the surprise factor and the giddy anticipation as the newscaster read through all the towns that preceded mine alphabetically (back in the dark ages pre-Internet). So I feel a bit hypocritical now. On the one hand, I want my son to have the great feeling of finding out school is closed because of snow. I get so excited thinking about spending the day sledding together, drinking hot chocolate, and snuggling on the couch for a movie. But then I remember that just because he has a snow day doesn’t mean I do. My daydream gets interrupted by my nightmare of having to figure out at the last minute whether my husband or I is going to be the one to stay home from work, which meetings can be rescheduled and which can be done remotely. If only as parents, we could plan ahead for snow days it would all be so much simpler. We’d just have to make sure to keep it a secret from our kids so they’d still get to experience what it’s like to get a “pass” for the day.
I have a problem. I don’t know how to discipline my toddler. Before I had him, I would see notices in the doctor’s office or at work about parent workshops on discipline. I thought those were unnecessary, that disciplining my child would come naturally, something that’s done by instinct. But then my son started playing with the lamps and the radiator covers. He started pulling hair and biting us (thankfully no children, just his parents). We say a stern No and redirect him toward his trucks or books, but he just laughs or flashes us a big grin and continues what he was doing. I have found that with some things (the radiator cover being one), if I just “ignore” what he’s doing (and by ignore I mean don’t say anything but watch him out of the corner of my eye), the behavior stops a lot sooner. But with things like biting and hair pulling, I can’t just ignore the behavior. Sometimes it really hurts! I’ve tried explaining things to him, but since he’s only 17 months old, I’m sure I sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher and am making no impact at all.
I’ve heard great things about Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Toddler on the Block and the board book Teeth Are Not For Biting so I think a trip to the library may be in order. If those don’t work, you may just see our family on Super Nanny in a few years.
‘Twas two weeks after Christmas and all through the house, few presents were opened, just a plastic doll house…. So starts our first real lesson in holiday excess. The Fisher Price Doll House was such a hit that our daughter hasn’t opened any of the other gifts under the tree. The house comes with a family, a kitchen and a potty, and apparently the Mommy must have had a little too much fun in the kitchen, because our little one had her on that little plastic potty all Christmas morning long. We went to my sister-in-law’s for Christmas dinner and our daughter wanted to go home so she could play with her house. This morning was the first day ever that she didn’t want to go to school. She wanted to stay home to play with her house. Separating her from the doll house for dinner was a losing battle last night, even after we brought the whole Fisher Price family to the table with us. I’m sure tonight will be no different. She has no interest in any of the many more gifts, some from us, some from Santa, more from friends and relatives, all still wrapped in pretty paper and bows. After all, she has her house. I’m glad I tended toward practical gifts this year, the economy being what it is. I’ll just unwrap the clothes I bought her and put them in her closet and I’ll slot the books in her bookshelf to make them surprise discoveries. The gifts from friends and relatives may just get opened by Mom and Dad tonight so that at least we can send thank you notes. And all those gifts that remain from us and that jolly guy in the red suit will get put away in a closet and brought out on rainy days. It’s not that we can’t use the gifts. Probably like many kids with winter birthdays, ours was in desperate need of a toy chest overhaul. But I promise to remember the doll house obsession next year and wait for the post-holiday sales before loading up.
In case you didn’t know – Robeez soft-soled shoes can washed in the washing machine and dried in the dryer. Their Web site currently says to handwash them and to reshape by inserting a spoon into them (can you see my eyes rolling?) But less than a year ago they advised it is ok to machine wash and dry them. I’ve done it, and it works.
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