NewMom: Potty as Procrastination
I can’t be the only who’s faced this, so I’m looking for some advice. Our daughter has been testing the limits of bedtime on and off for the last few months. One more book, one more song, refusing to brush her teeth when she should and then announcing she needs to just as we’re about to turn out the lights. We’ve tried very diligently to nip all of this in the bud and set firm limits and expectations at bedtime, and we’ve been pretty successful. At the same time, she’s close (I think) to really potty training. She’s been using the potty occasionally, when asked, for several months, but has only recently been telling us or her teachers when she needs to go – not every time, but sometimes. I ask her every night before she gets her pajamas on if she needs to use the potty, and sometimes she does. But what do we do when, after telling us she does not need to use the potty, 10 minutes later, conveniently close to lights out, she announces she has to go? I feel it’s wrong to tell her she missed her opportunity to go to the potty, and I always take her. My husband leans more toward the “cut the excuses” side of things. Half the time she produces, and half the time she doesn’t. Then last night, 15 minutes after we had put her to bed, after a marathon of efforts on her part to extend bedtime, she announced from her crib (a first) that she needed to use the potty. My husband did take her, and she did pee a very little bit, and she did finally go to bed sweetly – nearly 30 minutes after her normal bedtime. What’s the right thing to do? Does potty training supersede bedtime discipline, or are we being taken for a ride?
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3 comments:
When our 4yo was at that stage and pull the same tactic, we would tell her that if she said she had to go potty but then didn't, she would be punished for lying. She continued to do it until she decided the punishment wasn't worth it. Yet, when she did go, she was praised for paying attention to her body with a reward. It work for us with her, but I don't think it will work with our 2yo son - every kid is different!
In our house, using the potty ALWAYS superceded bedtime - even when it wasn't convenient. My boys learned quickly though that Mom and Dad were not happy if they were "crying wolf" about having to go. But it's probably different for each child - my boys were older (3yrs +) when they decided they were ready to use the potty - so mom and dad were more than willing to sacrifice bedtime to help expediate the process!
Is your daughter wearing underwear everyday? You "she's close to really potty training" which makes me think she's not yet to the regular underwear stage, in which case, I'd discourage the night time potty trips and focus on conquering the day time first. Assuming she's still in diapers at night, let her use the diapers and stop playing you.
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