New Mom: Role Models

There’s been a lot of talk lately about whether or not Michael Phelps can still be a good role model after being photographed smoking from a “marijuana pipe” (am I dating myself, or didn’t they used to call it a bong?) at a party. There are those who think he’s a young kid who made a mistake and can be a good role model by doing the right thing after being caught. There are others who think that swimming really fast isn’t enough to make him role model material in the first place.

My daughter is only 2, so I’m not yet concerned about Michael Phelps, or Britney Spears, or any other famous person and their effect on my child. But having a 2 year old has taught me two relevant things. First, everyone, everywhere is a role model, good or bad. Children model the behaviors of parents, teachers, friends, relatives, TV characters, neighbors, store clerks, etc. Heck, just yesterday, my own daughter was modeling a dog by crawling around the room and barking (and we don’t even have a dog). It’s a lesson I’m trying to apply at my job – don’t ever act in a way you wouldn’t want to be seen by your child.

The second lesson I take from my mothering life and apply to Michael Phelps, is that accountability is a really important attribute in a child, even as young 2. It’s not ok just to learn that she must apologize if she hits someone, she must also learn not to do it again. If she’s going to have the special privilege of, say, putting on Mommy’s lipstick, she must learn to treat the lipstick gently. If she doesn’t, it will be some time before she gets the opportunity again.

In my mind, earning 14 gold medals made Michael Phelps an unwitting role model, entitled to make a stupid mistake, apologize for it, and learn from it. He passes the first part of my test. But he fails on the second account. Michael Phelps isn’t an unwitting role model and he’s not just a young kid entitled to make that kind of mistake. He has earned millions of dollars from sponsors to represent them and their brands. When he violated his obligation to them he demonstrated a clear lack of accountability. In my mind he earned a time out not just from competitive swimming, and not just from endorsing their brands, but also from role modeling for quite some time.