New Mom: Mom Knows Best…or at least more.
Finally! Solid proof that mom knows more than dad. In two weeks, I will be traveling for four days and nights for work. Normally, New Dad and I spend equal time with our daughter when we’re both home. I think we consider each other equally capable of keeping her alive, happy, and healthy. But getting ready to go out of town has shined a new light on how much mommy knows best — or at least how much more I know. We’ve already been talking about what I can and need to do to prepare daddy for my extended absence.
I’ll prepare food and menus for meals at school and at home. I’ll make explicit notes about which days New Girl can eat the snack offered at the center, and which days she needs her own substitute. I’ll spend Memorial Day weekend doing all of our laundry and will set aside outfits for New Girl that suit the forecasted weather. New Dad will be a spectator at bed time and bath time in the coming week so he can see how those routines have been working out. And on the sly, I’ll talk to New Girl’s teachers and ask them to give New Dad a break or gentle guidance if he fills out her daily sheet wrong, forgets the crib sheets and blankets, or otherwise seems out of sorts.
I don’t mind any of this, and, in fact, much (if not all) of it is probably completely unnecessary. But it makes me feel good and a little less guilty that I’m doing something to help out even when I can’t be at home. And truth be told, it makes me feel just a little cocky to know that if New Dad were the one traveling, I wouldn’t need any of it. It’s just that little edge that moms have on dads — forever.
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2 comments:
Your post is true and funny. I've said 'No' to a large number of training classes and conferences this year because I couldn't dream of leaving our baby alone with dada. I have to admit, part of me was afraid he'd do a better job.. or atleast the kind she'd like better. He's been home alone with her before and actually done a bang up job in her eyes...ofcourse it did mean that I had to re-break the pacifier habit, and re teach her that mommy's arms hurt from carrying her all the time... and that she only got to watch telly tubbies if mommy could get some quick cooking done. It's funny, our daughter adores her 'Dada' and all day along all you can hear is 'Dada Dada' in different tones of voice. But let something go wrong ... either she falls or is hurting in some way... and then suddenly it's 'MaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaMa'. My husband thinks it's not fair that she turns to me for comfort... I think it's not fair that he gets the excited squeals and I only get the wails.. Oh well.. c'est la vie
I can completely understand your "celebration" of realizing the important role you play in NewGirls day to day activities - but I caution you too. It's not necessarily a good thing. My role was certainly heavier in the caregiving side than Dad's role when my two boys were babies - but now that they're toddlers, I celebrate the fact that Dad can single handedly manage without Mom! I think it's great knowing that my boys are so well cared for by their dad in the event that I'm either traveling for work, enjoying some "me" time, or heaven forbid - if something should happen to me, leaving Dad to play the single parenting role. I advise all Mom's out there - Help those Dad's become more self sufficient with your kids -- it's worth it!
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