NewMom: Thank You for Not Soliciting on the Premises

I’ve come to realize there are two types of people who give parenting advice. There are those who honestly want to share with you their wisdom and experiences so that you may avoid some of the common traps, pitfalls, mistakes, and sleepless nights they’ve endured. Granted you may get much conflicting advice from these “well intenders,” but I nonetheless always welcome and value their input. Then there are the “doomsdayers.” These are the people whose generally unsolicited advice is, quite frankly, not advice at all. It’s often just a warning of the horrors you’re about to endure, generally accompanied by an unwelcome patronizing attitude.

When you’re tired, the “well intender” tells you, “You might want to consider taking an afternoon off from work to get some extra sleep. You’ll need it even more after the baby comes.” The “doomsdayer” on the other hand tells you with a chuckle, “Oh you don’t even know what tired is. Just you wait!” So often it seems that what the “doomsdayer” is really thinking is, “I’m so excited to have a rookie join the club, because that moves me up a peg on the ladder of seniority in the parenting game.” I suck it up, smile, grin, and thank the “doomsdayers” for their warnings as if I haven’t heard it before.

But what do you do when that “doomsdayer” is a colleague? It’s hard not to interpret their positioning in the parenting game and a power play in the workplace. My kids will always be younger than theirs. So, will that weirdness ever go away?