ModernMom: Working Mom Doesn’t Mean Part-Time Mom
The other day I got an e-mail that a respected colleague was leaving the company to be a “full-time mom.” The same day, I read an article stating that both Kate Winslet and Gwen Stefani have put their careers on hold to be “full-time mothers.”
For those of us who work outside of the home, it’s impossible to ignore the implication — if moms who stay home are “full-time mothers,” we must be “part-time mothers.” Funny, I didn’t feel like a part-time mother at 3 a.m. yesterday when I was trying – unsuccessfully – to get my 1 ½ -year-old daughter back to sleep. And I didn’t feel like a part-time mother at 4:30 a.m. when my 4-year-old snuck into my bedroom to ask if it was okay to sleep on the floor. There was nothing part-time about getting two kids woken up (more or less), dressed, fed, somewhat clean, loaded into the car, and dropped off at school in time to be at my desk by 8:00. And during the workday there are inevitably doctors appointments to make, calls to check in at school, and various other “mommy details” that need attention.
The time, energy, and resources I devote to my children far outweigh any other aspect of my life. Whether or not I’m physically with them around the clock, I am always their mother…all of the time, full time.
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6 comments:
Very well put, ModernMom! While I do admire all the ‘full time moms’ out there, I decided when my now 3-year-old son was born that being a say home mom just wasn’t for me. Sure, there are some days when I wish I could stay home with my son and bake cookies with him all day, or lounge around and sing songs. However, most days, I get to come home from a rewarding day at work and spend time with my son while he sings me a new song he learned at school. It’s days like that when I am reminded that my decision to be a full time mom with a full time job was the right decision for me.
Being a fulltime mom with a full time job is the most rewarding feeling for me. It makes me feel even better taking both of my young children to a safe and familiar place each and every morning before my long day at work. It really does sadden me that our beloved center will be closing shortly, but in my search for a center that will meet up to my expectations I think I have found "the one"!
After many, many tours of many, many centers, my husband and I finally have found one that is very comparable to our current Bright Horizons. It is a brand new center in Sterling Heights on 18 and Hayes. It's called "The Learning Expereince". They are warm and friendly and are willing to work with us through our transition from Bright Horizons. They also had a discount for my second child, and 1/2 off their registration fee!! So if any of you mom's are still looking for a center, I would highly recommend checking out "The Learning Experience"!!
Just for my curiosity, what other centers have any of you mothers decided to go with??
I couldn't agree more Modern Mom! While during my maternity leave I came to understand that being a stay at home Mom may just be the hardest job out there (and the most rewarding). But it doesn't make those of us with jobs outside the home any less of a mother. The hardest part of any job is the responsibility and accountability. That's a 24/7 thing for every mom.
Rosa - your suggestion that stay at home mom's get to spend there days "lounging around" is laughable. Having spent the first three years of my very active daughters life at home with her, I can assure you that "lounging" and "baking cookies" is not an everday reality. Some days we were able to do that - other days I spent tearing my hair out running after a baby, who was learning to crawl, then walk, then run. Keep in mind - there is no "shift end" for a stay at home mom. If daddy came home, and he'd had a rough day - mommy was left to entertain baby from 7 in the morning till 8 at night (less naps, of course). It made for some very long, tiresome days. Don't forget too - in the winter if the weather was bad, we would be stuck in the house, so sometimes you would have no interaction with anyone else for days...just you and baby. Please don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade a second of those three years - and now that I am back to "work" fulltime, I miss her terribly. I find it very sad that mothers can't agree on the basics of life though. As moms, we do the bulk of the baby work (most of the time - I know some dads are very proactive - but I also now that we are not living in a world were labour is divided that equitably)- and yet here we are not able to see eye to eye - or offer woman on the other side of the fence the respect they deserve.
None of you are a FULL TIME MOM!!! You are feeling bad because you are failing as parents. Your kid does not care if you are driving a used $5000 car or new $50,000. Your kid would prefer time with you.
Creo que estamos equivocando el término de MAMA DE TIEMPO COMPLETO o MAMAS DE MEDIO TIEMPO. Que pena necesitar trabajar para poder vivir mejor y que los hijos no sufran carencias y tener que dejar al Bebé. Se nota que todas las que esciben no estan en esa situación. Hay otras mas que se quedan en casa y pueden salir a almozar con las amigas o tomar el café y realmente la que cuida a los hijos es la NANA. Por que se complican lo verdaderamente importante es la calidad de tiempo que dediques a tus hijos.
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