Friday Links: 9/3/10

Crafty Mom: Fun new tumblr blog. 

News Mom: Check out Eatocracy, CNN’s food blog. It’s got nothing to do with kids or work, it’s just a guilty pleasure for the foodie in you. 

Green Mom: Not only good tips on how to get back in the routine of packing school lunches, but some cute notes to accompany them just to show you care.

All Natural Mainstream Ketchup

This is fantastic news. Now if only my kids’ favorite bbq sauce would do the same.

--Green Mom

Martha Stewart Love

The September issue of Martha Stewart is SO good.  There are so many great things in it.  Really, it’s worth picking up.  I devoured the issue and all of the ideas/projects.  And I feel like there’s a little bit of a shift happening in the magazine.  It seems like it’s getting a little hipper, which is cool.  I like that mix of traditional and trendy.  And I really loved this issue cover to cover – except for the 10,000^th article they have done on faux bois.  Martha is clearly obsessed and it’s so bizarre.  I do not get it at all.  They must get a lot of letters about it because I can’t fathom how they could do another article on it. 

Anyhow, you get a glimpse into Martha’s kitchen – always a treat – and they have lots of great kid/family ideas.  Did you know they have a blog on the MS site called the family room?  It’s pretty cool and sort of reminds me of our blog in that it’s written by several of moms.  They have some neat ideas and product recommendations.  Check it out.  

--Crafty Mom

Do It Yourself

Do any of you make your own cleaners (all purpose, bathroom, laundry detergent)? I’d really like to start making my own, but there are SO many resources out there that I’m not sure where to start. What’s the best recipe to use and do they keep well from week to week (I don’t do much cleaning in between visits from our cleaning woman)? I know most green moms have been making their own for a while I’m sure, but I’m a bit behind the times. Help!

--Green Mom

Friday Links: 8/27/10

From Oprah.com, a list of 10 Things Teachers Want Parents to Know. Equally applicable to child care as it is to elementary, junior and high school.

Not sure how I feel about Elin Nordegren agreeing to an interview with People Magazine but nonetheless I'll be purchasing a copy this weekend.

It’s back to school time in New England which means new lunchboxes! Here is a great list of PVC free and other eco-friendly lunch gear.

Women Buy Sexier Clothes When Ovulating

Seriously!  Someone did the research. Check out this blog post on The Chart.  Someone actually conducted a study that shows that women buy shorter skirts, more plunging necklines and more vava-voom in the days near ovulation. I don't know what to say except that this is in stark contrast to my own very unscientific research that shows that women who are aware they are ovulating are typically trying very hard to get pregnant and have come to find the act more of a chore than a romantic event. Thoughts?

--News Mom

Give Me a Break

We are starting to feel a little more settled into our new house.  The closets are a mess, we won’t have enough seating in the kitchen or the living room for 6 – 8 weeks (things are on order), and there a bunch of random boxes in the basement.  But those are minor details – after all, if I don’t open the closet or go down to the basement the boxes and clutter don’t exist, right?

Now that things are quieting down, I can tell you that I have learned a lot – not just about moving and organizing, but also about parenting.  I keep being reminded that everything takes 10 times longer when you have your child with you.  You can’t spend the whole day running errands or organizing closets unless you want to listen to endless whining about needing someone to play with.  I have re-discovered that my daughter is old enough to help (really help, not just pretend to help), and young enough to think it is fun.

So, when my daughter wasn’t at her new child care center (more on that transition later), she helped me organize the kitchen cabinets, she helped me sort the laundry, she helped me put away the placemats and dish towels.  And, she helped me make the time to take a break.  When she got tired of the unpacking and helping, and I got tired of the whining, we stopped, we got our paint brushes and went outside to paint with water.  We painted the patio, the trees, our fingers and toes (a good manicure is a must when you are unpacking boxes), the chairs and sometimes the flowers.  We drew pictures, and we wrote words…then it dried and we started all over again.

--Commuter Mom

Are Home Births Harmful?

In the home birth v. hospital birth debate, I am firmly in the hospital birth category. My father was a hospital-based doctor, I worked in that same hospital for several years in high school, grew up with a skepticism of alternative medicine and am just not much of an earthy crunchy gal. The idea of giving birth at home does not hold appeal for me in any way, shape or form. That being said, I do have friends, smart people themselves able to duly judge the risks and rewards, who have elected to deliver their babies at home. One in particular has documented her experience in full detail in her Mama-Zine and frozen her placentas for planting in the Spring. I had developed a position that home births in non-high-risk pregnancies  are still risky but an acceptable choice for people who at least are in sufficient proximity to emergency medical care if it becomes necessary. But now the British medical journal The Lancet has editorialized strongly against home births proclaiming that while women have the right to decide where to give birth, "they do not have the right to put their baby at risk.” You can read more about it here.  What do you think? Have you had or would you ever consider a home birth? What do you about those who do choose it?

--News Mom

Friday Links: 8/20/10

Green Mom: I’m loving Babycenter.com’s new Momformation blog format. Here’s an interesting post on posting photos of your child and where they might end up. 

Commuter Mom: I think I need this book…and an intervention. 

Crafty Mom: A great craft and meaningful gift for a mom or a new mom who has a growing family (via Design Mom).

Mom and Dad’s Summer Vacation

I just got back from a week- long vacation with my husband. Here are some observations I made during the trip:

- Our boys stayed at Mimi and Grampie’s house and did back-up care at a Bright Horizons center nearby. I didn’t really feel guilty about leaving my kids for that amount of time, but felt like society thought I should feel guilty, so I did, in spite of the fact that they were well taken care of and would probably rather live with their grandparents than us any day

- I was able to stay up much later than I do at home! We were in Amsterdam so it stays light outside until almost 11 p.m. Because of that, I was able to spend lots of time at outdoor cafes sipping cappuccinos (Amstel Lights). I’m sure knowing that I would not be woken up at 6:00 a.m. helped too

- They hardly use any plastic in Amsterdam. All of the bottled water was in these great glass bottles. The only bad thing is that they also don’t recycle. They did at the airport, but not in the city limits.

- Anywhere you go they have water-saver flushing toilets. Press the smaller button for less water and the bigger one when you need more water.

- European coffee is so much better than what we have in the US.

- I cried on the way there and on the way home because I missed my boys. There is nothing better than the look on their faces and hearing “Mama!” after a long time away. I can’t wait for our next vacation, but this time I think I’ll take the kids (and dog) along too.

--Green Mom

Books, Books, and More Books

I’ve always believed there’s no such thing as too many books. On the theory that “more is more,” overflowing bookcases adorn every room of my house. My kids have dozens of books in their own rooms, and we have countless more in the playroom. The problem, of course, is that when one of the kids asks for a specific book we’re at a loss. Is “Blueberries for Sal” upstairs? Downstairs? Mixed in with the cookbooks? And the irony is that my kids tend to fixate on certain books for several days in a row, making the abundance seem a bit overwhelming and completely unnecessary.

So the other day a friend of mine who embraces the notion of simplifying kids’ lives suggested she and I weed through the books in an effort to reduce and organize. We spent hours going through every book and discovered, for example, that we had 6 copies of “Goodnight Moon, 32 books for infants, and 16 coloring and sticker books that were completely filled in. When we were finished we had 3 shopping-bags-worth to donate and bookshelves that no longer buckled. We put a small basket near each child’s bed to hold the books that are currently “in rotation.” I was afraid the kids would be upset by the change, but their reaction was just the opposite. For the first time in forever, they can now see what books are on their shelves. They’ve rediscovered old favorites and identified new ones. I don’t want to exaggerate, but it really seems like each one book has become a bit more special because it’s been given room to breathe, be seen, and be appreciated. And the rooms in general feel less cluttered and more inviting. So now I need to gear myself up to tackle the clothes closets…or the toys…or the kitchen cabinets…or maybe I’ll just go choose a good book to read instead.

--Modern Mom

Ladybug Girl's Next Adventure

We are big Ladybug Girl fans at our house. 

We read the books frequently and spend time playing ladybug girl in the backyard, living room, kitchen...  So I was more than happy to indulge my daughter in a new book when we found Ladybug Girl Goes to the Beach at our local bookstore.  Lulu goes to the beach for the first time and discovers that she is afraid of the waves.  She spends most of the morning avoiding the ocean (flying kites, eating ice cream…) but when her sand pail starts to float away she yells, “This is a job for Ladybug Girl” (that’s my favorite part) and rescues her pail from the water – overcoming her fear of the crashing waves.  Between the beautiful pictures and touching story, this is a great read for both adults and children.

Click here for the Boston Globe’s book review.  And be sure to check out Ladybug Girl's web site for games and printable activity pages.

--Commuter Mom

Crib Note: Great Kindness Challenge

 

The Great Kindness Challenge is happening tomorrow and encourages kids around the world to do kind acts. Bright Horizons centers have been participating all week but there are lots of great ways to participate at home. Visit the campaign website to find activities you and your child can do over the weekend.

When to Try Again After Miscarriage

The statistics say that one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Lately it seems to me that almost every woman I know has experienced one. Easily more than half my female friends and relatives who have ever been pregnant more than once have experienced the trauma of a miscarriage. Many of them more than once.  Given that most of my mom or hoping-to-be-mom friends are of an "advanced maternal age" and most of them in the workforce, the issue of how soon after miscarriage they can try again to conceive has become a hot topic. They don't want to have to wait any longer than they have to, but the medical advice about what to do has run the gamut from "no need to wait at all" to "wait at least six months" before trying again. Well, now a new study out of Scotland reports that women have the best chance of conceiving a healthy baby after miscarriage if they do so within six months of the lost pregnancy.  It seems quite a serious study that followed more than 30,000 women, was published by the well-respected British Medical Journal (BMJ) and funded in part by the Scottish government's Chief Scientist Office. The study even has its researchers urging the World Health Organization to change it recommendations, which currently urge a six month wait period and were based on a study of women who were typically much younger when they gave birth. If it's an issue you've been struggling with, or you know someone who has, it may be worth checking out.

--News Mom

Back to School Means Lunch!

lunch bag pattern from thelongthread.com

I am very fortunate in that they have food at my child care, which means that I only have to make lunch during the school year.  I can’t believe how much time I spend thinking about lunch and how outrageous it is that such a simple thing has become such a stress.  Here are my biggest   frustrations in no particular order:

1. No refrigerators so they “advise against” yogurt, etc. yet turkey sandwiches are somehow “recommended.”  Gross.  (I still send in the yogurt)
2. No nuts because of nut allergies so peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are out. (I know, I know.  It’s necessary but I’m being honest here.)
3. Besides peanut butter sandwiches, my daughter only eats grilled cheese sandwiches and tuna.  She won’t eat cold grilled cheese (I’ve tried) and is already embarrassed by the smell of tuna! Shouldn’t that come in like 5th grade?
4. Cafeteria food totally grosses me out.  Always has – even when I was in school.  My mother worked a gazillion hours and always made us lunch. We’re squeamish like that.  But it would be convenient if I wasn’t grossed out by it.  So sometimes I’m tempted.
5. Sending in a cookie has become the equivalent of sending her to school with a pack of cigarettes.  BUT, if you can believe it, the kids who buy lunch get free ice cream.
6. She often only eats the things that are not perishable and comes home with an unopened yogurt (at almost $1 a pop).  This makes me feel really old because 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have blinked at wasting a $1 and now I want to go crazy when it happens.

The moral of the story is: I struggle mightily with making lunch healthy and appetizing within all the various constraints of what passes for school lunch in 2010.  I’m not looking forward to adding this chore back to the list.  What I do like is challenging myself to make her lunches as waste-free as possible.  We have incorporated a lot of re-usable containers but they are kind of run of the mill.  These two projects caught my eye. So, if I can’t figure out what to send in to eat, I can at least make some cool stuff so that when we decide on some lunches, she can carry it in style.

--Crafty Mom

Important Work

I’ve been struggling a lot recently with the importance of my work. When I read about people like Mark Lilly, who turned an old school bus into a traveling farmer’s market, I admire that he saw a need and it was important enough to him that he dedicates his life to it. Because of people like him, I feel like I should be doing something much more important. I have my toe dipped into two worlds where there is a lot of important work to be done- the environment and special needs children. I dream of making all natural or organic baby products more available to those of limited means.  But I also dream of helping families with children newly diagnosed with special needs navigate the bridge between working and staying home and figuring out how to juggle essentially three full time jobs (parenting, their jobs and coordinating doctors’ appointments and therapies). I know it would be helpful to focus on one thing, but I’ve yet to determine which. Also, short of quitting one of my full time jobs, which I’m not prepared to do, I don’t know how to find the energy to focus on one more thing. For me, it’s not really about finding the time, it’s more about finding the energy, the focus.  How did you figure out what you wanted to be when you grow up and how did you go about making that happen?

--Green Mom

Too Early for Back to School Blues?

I’m not one of those people who starts lamenting the end of summer on July 5. Since I look forward to summer all year long, I really try to make the most of it and constantly remind myself that there are weeks left as each day flies by. But here we are in the second week of August, and I’m officially down in the dumps. It’s not the back-to-school ads that started weeks ago or the nominally shorter days or even the fact that we only have only three summer vacation weekends left that’s getting to me. It’s the looming chaos I can’t stop thinking about. The crazy mornings, the fact that all three of my kids are going to new schools, the transportation logistics, the increased traffic, the homework, and probably most of all, the fact that since my husband is a teacher, he’s going back to school too. Carpeying the diem is definitely not one of my strengths. Any suggestions for easing into Autumn instead of falling face first?

--Modern Mom

Supreme Equality Still Elusive

The New York Times recently published an article about the fact that, while the equality gap between men and women in the workplace has narrowed considerably, the gap between men and mothers continues to be unacceptably wide. For illustrative purposes, the reporter, David Leonhardt, points out that while the last three male nominees to the US Supreme Court are married with seven children among them, the last three female nominees have all been single and without children. While job opportunities on the bench of the US Supreme Court are hardly reflective of the general job market, the issue is an interesting symbolic reflection of the limitations that most mothers but few fathers still face in terms of career advancement.  Time off from work or a temporary shift to part-time work is generally seen as the biggest obstacle working mothers have to overcome in order to achieve ultimate equality in the workplace, and it's the issue the New York Times article mostly explores. But I think there's more to it than that. I think professional women who are also mothers are perceived to have a different set of priorities and different levels of ambition compared with fathers. Even in the most family-friendly companies there can be a sense that working mothers can be "had for less."   They will be so grateful for the family-friendly perks, the thinking may go, that we can get a talented mom for a lower salary, lesser position, etc. than we otherwise could. There's nothing wrong with that in theory, after all those perks are worth real value. Except the same train of thought does not seem to be applied to fathers, at least so far as I can tell. It seems to me that women have achieved huge strides in the workplace, but true equality is still a long way off.

--News Mom

Bubble Maker How-To

Here’s a great, quick, summer craft activity – make your own bubble machine.

1. Using a hole punch, put holes in a small take out or deli container.  Any short container will work.  One hole in the lid and one hole in the side toward the top of the container, make sure your hole will not be covered by the lid.
2. Decorate your container with stickers.
3. Fill with a couple of inches of bubble solution.
4. Put the lid on your container.  Make sure your holes are on opposite sides – the hole on the top should be directly opposite the hole on the side.
5. Insert a straw into the hole on the side.  A “bendy” straw works well.
6. Blow.  As you blow the bubbles will start to “grow” out of the hole in the lid.  If you blow hard enough they will shoot into the air.

This is not a good project for young children who may inhale instead of exhale.  Much more fun if the bubbles come out of the bubble machine rather than little mouths.

--Commuter Mom

Secret Club

We hosted a birthday party for my boys this weekend which allowed me to bring together a group of people that have never gotten together before. What was interesting about the day was a conversation I had with three separate women, at separate times about how hard it is being a mom. One joked about how it scares her some times that she loves a glass of wine at night to help her relax, which is something that Modern Mom and I have joked about as well. Another, a stay at home mom, talked about how she and her husband agreed to put their relationship on the back burner for 3 years when they had kids because they didn’t want to leave them with a babysitter or mess up their bed time routine, but that she dreamed of checking into a hotel right up the street from her house so she could sleep or watch a movie.  And the third and I talked about how we long for a simpler life and dreamed of moving to Vermont so we could slow down and just breathe a bit more.

The point is that these are all women that I thought had it all together. I have honestly been wondering what is wrong with me. I wanted my children. I love my children. But sometimes I feel like I’m drowning. I wish that everyone would just talk about it more, help each other more. I wish that it wasn’t taboo to want children, to love your children, but to acknowledge that it’s really really hard.

--Green Mom

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up...Sort Of

Sorry I’ve been a bit absent from the blog for a few weeks.  But I really do have a good excuse. Almost three weeks ago I landed in the Emergency Room, reluctantly, with excruciating back pain that is still radiating down my entire leg. In the week that followed, I was completely confined to my bed, even needing help to get to the bathroom. Week two had me hobbling around a bit and able to answer e-mail occasionally, but still unable to drive. Week three has me much more mobile, back in the office, but still exhausted as sleep continues to be elusive. All of this would be bad enough if it were just me I had to worry about, but with a 3 ½ year old to take care of and a husband who ultimately had to return to work himself, I learned a lot about how to accept help, what to be grateful for, and understanding about small victories and limitations. Here are a few of the lessons I learned:

• I am incredibly lucky to have a job, boss, employer and team at work that enabled me to be off when I needed to and work from home when I could without any repercussions or IOUs.
• I am equally fortunate to have amazing full time child care where I don’t have to give a second thought about my daughter’s care, safety or happiness for 8+ hours a day.
• My child will survive for many hours at a time with aunts she barely knows, cousins and their SOs even at bedtime which is typically reserved exclusively for Mommy.  She may even call for Auntie when she wakes up in the morning.
• While it’s tempting to want to hide you illness or temporary disability from your children, lest they think you’re less than superhuman, they really can understand and empathize and have a much better understanding for all the changes to their routine if you’re just honest with them.
• Having someone else do your grocery shopping is a heavenly luxury. So why does that online grocery delivery service never work out for me?
• Showering in a chair is highly underrated. Everyone should try it at least once.
• Shaving really makes a person feel more human, but shaving a numb leg is definitely not for the faint of heart.
• Lose the guilt, accept the help, and take it easy when you need to. You know you’d help out a friend or relative in need without giving it a second thought. Let them do the same for you.

--News Mom